Oh, you like my tan? Yeah, it's fake.

Living in the UK has several benefits. The weather probably isn't one of them. Well, not if you're like me and you constantly crave the sun. There's just something about the sun. It is undoubtedly one of the best mood boosters, and having a tan... well... it's just unbeatable!

"Who doesn't like being tanned?"

Unfortunately, unless your bank balance is healthy, you probably won't be able to go away for several months of the year and bask in the sun. So how do you get that gorgeous glow? You fake it of course! And no. I'm not talking about faking it like The Only Way Is Essex girls. I'm talking about a drop dead, woah she looks good, jaw dropping, kinda fake tan. No streaks. No tangerine glow. No dodgy urine stench. Just a plain old healthy glow that means no matter how ill, hungover or tired you are, you'll still look good.

It's easier said than done though. There are just hundreds of fake tans on the market. I'm a tan whore. I'm always casually wandering down the tan aisle to see what affordable, but decent, bronzing products could be mine. Part of me has given up with fake tan though. Moisturisers with a 'built-in glow' are my new favourites. My preferred choice has to be Avon Ultimate Body moisturiser with SPF 15. It works, it doesn't smell AND my purse didn't feel as light as an aero bar when I bought it.

Johnson's Holiday Skin Body Moisturiser, another favourite, has also helped maintain my 2010 summer tan which faded rapidly as soon as my plane touched down on English turf. Although I like my body to be bronzed, it is of course covered up from about October to March. My face on the other hand, is always exposed. Unlucky for me as it's the palest part of my body. Grrr.

Don't try using body tan for your face. It just won't work. Don't ask me why. There will of course be some scientific explanation involving words which few people could translate, but, all there is to know is that it's best to get separate tan for your face.

Piz Buin, Olay, Johnsons. I've tried a lot of the fake tan facial moisturisers. But none of them seemed to do anything other than make my face feel like a chip pan. GOSH Self Tan Lotion seems to have done the trick though. Used a few times a week it really does make you look like you've jetted off to a land far away. At £15 I did feel a little guilty taking it to the till but, as soon as I used it, I breathed a slow sigh of relief. FINALLY! Years of trying fake tans which just didn't want to work had caused me to go nuts!

If I want a bit of bronze as a one off I've found Rimmel are the way to go. Cheap as chips, and decent... you just can't go wrong. AND, the best bit... it doesn't wipe off onto your bed sheets. So when you collapse onto your bed after a hard night partying (oh it's a tough life isn't it!?) you won't have to wake up to a filthy, streaky sheet. No matter what product you use though, it's easy to still get that horrible, streaky, orange look. Think Oompah Loompah.

Exfoliate. A key word in any fake tanners dictionary.

It's bound to streak if you've got loads of old skin coming off your body. Don't forget your palms. Either they'll be mega orange from all the tan or they'll  be Casper white because you've washed them. Using a Fake tan mitt to apply will mean no excess tan on your hands. There's no need to rush to a fancy shop for these. Latex gloves work just as well. In the words of the meerkats. Simples.

Don't rush the application process. It's a serious business this fake tan fandango. Even if it's one of the moisturisers, just take your time! Make sure everywhere has been covered so you're not left with random white blobs.It's probably best to do it when you're fresh out the shower, not five minutes before you're due to hit the town. So NOT a good look. Knees and elbows are the parts of your body where the saying 'less is more' applies. Because the skin here is covering bendy joints, it's always moving, so fake tan will streak on these areas if you paste too much on. If you're using an instant fake tan then ensure your day won't involve a break up, a soppy film or too much alcohol. Tears are the worst thing with fake tan. It will streak. No matter what.

If you have gone too far though and you're looking more chocolate orange than St Tropez, there are some simple ways to remove your tan. Waxing (yes, OUCH!), will remove your top layer of skin, the layer covered in bronzing product. 'No pain no gain' should remain in your head whilst doing this. Nail varnish remover is also useful. Dab some on a cotton wool ball and wipe over the streaky area making sure to avoid any open wounds. It's a recipe for disaster!

The final way is to splash out on a special make up remover product. St Tropez have released a Tan detox pack, but, at £25, this could be slightly out of your budget. Pop into Boots and you'll find plenty of fake tan remover wipes. Perfect for stripping off all those tanning errors. Buying a good product, prepping your body beforehand AND applying correctly should ensure that you have that stunning olive glow which will turn heads from all directions. Follow these steps and you won't go too wrong. If ever you do think you've been tangoed, then take a look at some of the well known 'orange' celebrities. You'll soon feel better about yourself.

Happy tanning!

LUCY GORNALL