Week 6: A right carry on

Travelling at half the speed you're used to. Finally arriving at your destination tired and irritable. Cramped conditions. Lavatories that leave a lot to be desired. Kids shouting and screaming and generally making a nuisance of themselves. People in close proximity playing music far too loud so that the constant thump thump of the bass rattles round your head. Just a typical week of Bedford to London commuting during the school holidays?

Not at all – welcome instead to the joys of caravan camping during the Easter break! Five days of this, sold to me by a friend (or perhaps that should be ex-friend) as a relaxing way to get away from it all and appreciate the great outdoors, and I’m practically begging to get back to the daily grind of the 6.48 to Brighton and the Victoria line.

The good Lord works in mysterious ways - or so I've been told. Perhaps then his (or indeed her) hand played a part in the saga of the scooter that never was.

The idea had been to journey to Bedford station via 125cc four-stroke, a trip of about five miles, primarily to save on the über-high station car parking fees. The thought of reducing emissions and doing my bit to prevent green and pleasant Bedfordshire becoming the new Gobi desert fifty years from now was also on my mind. 

However I was initially hesitant to abandon four wheels and twin airbags given I value my skin and the last time I’d been astride two wheels and an internal combustion engine was as a spotty seventeen year old. But once someone had explained that “twist and go” wasn’t a new hair conditioner but a phrase used to describe just how simple these new scooters are to ride, I took the plunge and bought a rather smart looking second hand Italian number from ebay.

But several weeks and several dealer excuses later the bike still hadn't arrived. I took it as a strong hint from my guardian angel above that this was not meant to be, and cancelled the deal.  Instead I have reinvested the funds in a bike that uses nothing more than leg power, and has a top speed of around ten mph – much safer in my mind, especially when combined with helmet and lurid orange fluorescent jacket. I will shortly be seen trialling this even greener way of getting from house to station around the back routes of Bedford.

And the saved car parking fees? Will go towards a proper summer holiday of course. And by that I mean a nice comfortable hotel, miles from the nearest campsite!